The Feminine urge...to not fit an aesthetic

The belief that there is a right way to be feminine is a lie.

For decades we’ve been told what femininity should look like, first it was the career woman, then the super-mum, then the wellness woman, now it’s the feminine woman- different costume, same performance.

Many women leave one box only to unknowingly place themselves in another.

I’ve seen women worry that they’re “too much” to be feminine, too outspoken, too ambitious, too sexual, too messy, too angry, too masculine, too wild.

I’ve also seen women worry they’re not feminine because they don’t wear linen, don’t speak softly, don’t have an altar, don’t own crystals, don’t move through life looking like a Pinterest board. The irony is that true feminine embodiment often looks like freedom from all of that.

The freedom to wear the dress because you want to.

The freedom to wear the work boots because you want to and its fucking practical. 

The freedom to be sensual one day and feral the next.

The freedom to stop curating yourself for approval.

Some of the most deeply feminine women I know don't look anything like the image social media or societal conditioning would have you believe. The feminine has never been one thing, she is cyclical, creative, receptive, constantly moving through her inner seasons. 

One day she may want red lipstick and silk, the next day she may want muddy boots and messy hair- neither is more feminine than the other. 

Ive had women actually say to me,

"I know you do feminine work but you don't look like your typical feminine healer"

My response, What does the feminine look like?

They can not answer, because the feminine isn't a look and the women I work with aren't searching for a feminine aesthetic, they are searching for themselves. 

Maybe that’s the real feminine urge:

To stop performing feminine and start living it.